off guard

i love my job -- or non-job, for that matter. for the longest time, i've been ranting, looking for stress that has become my vice, i realize. but no, no place for that here.

thus, it challenges me in a way that i never expected. in a world that has bombarded me with duties, routines and orders, it gave me free time. free time? there was no way i could have prepared for this.

now, i ask myself new questions -- what do i want to do? if it was totally up to me, what would it be? i rediscovered music, family, friends, laughter, the outdoors -- all things that used to mean the world to me. i've tapped other hibernating facets in me, as well.

my (non)job totally caught me off guard. i love it.