same old, same old

it gets tiring, crying yourself to sleep each time. quite frankly, the self-pity is pathetic and enough is enough.

Day 4: Kaladkarin Goes F1-Crazy in Singapore

Finally, the day of the race! KE, Ate Tina and I hauled ass over to Suntec for the F1 Motorshow. The two cool things I got to do: (1) don a Maclaren jumpsuit at panindigan ang pagka-poser, (2) watch the car stunts show by world-record holders Russ & Paul Swift (apt names, huh?) and actually get to ride in the car with the stunt drivers! Woot-woo, six bucks well spent! Spent the rest of the time snapping away with the cam and ogling over the race cars.

By nighttime, we joined the rest of the F1 groupies at Marina Bay for the historic event. You could tell that KE & Vic, all clad in Ferrari Red, were so revved up (KE finally got to buy her Ferrari cap, by the way =P). I won't attempt to describe how electric the air was for those 2 hours -- ask KE for the kwento. =) Here are some highlights though -- (1) car crashing right in front of us (yeah, best seats in the house!), (2) me turning into a Lewis Hamilton-groupie, and (3) us joining the rest of the Ferrari fans in utter shock of what happened to Massa and Raikonnen (oh well, crap happens, even in F1).

After the race, we got to stroll on the track proper, and KE and I trooped over to Clarke Quay -- supposedly for some clubbing, but MoS was closed. On a Sunday. On an F1 weekend. Go figure. KE, Ben and I ended up gabbing the night way over ice cream at the riverside, which was a nice ending to a hyper-weekend.

Day 3: Kaladkarin's Adventures in Singapore

After a barrage of malls, we had an outdoor-sy agenda for this Saturday. Rhea, Mike, Ben, KE and I trooped to the outskirts of Bedok for a 'Forest Adventure'. You know you're in for an exciting day when (1), you have no idea of what the 'Forest Adventure' actually is (hiking, I presumed), and (2), you have no idea of how to go there. So out went the handy-dandy maps again as we navigated our way to the Bedok Reservoir.

Turns out the 'Forest Adventure' leaned heavily more on the 'adventure' part than a commune with nature. The 'forest' were actually the trees that dotted the Bedok Reservoir Park, and Forest Adventure was actually a facility for ziplining and 4 sites of rope bridges enough to whip up any ROTC-whiner into shape.

As we put on the harnesses and helmets, an instructor gave us a drill of how to use the carabiners and told us that the whole adventure course would take around 2 hours. In my head, I was going like, 'Wenk, 2 hours? Magsla-slide lang naman ako. How hard can that be?' As usual, I was dead wrong. Rope ladder pa lang, gegewang-gewang na kami. Ziplining over the reservoir trying not to have another crash landing was the easy part. Going head-to-head with the rope bridges was totally another story! We tarzan-ed, airsplit-ted, air-crawled and practically did every aerial acrobatics move possible (sans somersaulting & flying). The bridge aptly baptized as 'The Trapeze' was the most challenging one -- imagine a log suspended by two ropes (one at each side), resembling a swing. Now imagine crossing over a whole row of those, with nothing to grip on but the ropes and nothing to step on but the logs. I swear, by the last step of that section, we all practically jumped onto the platform hugging the tree branch at the end of the site. Effort! But as exhausting as it may be, there were no regrets (err, except maybe for not being brave enough to bring a camera up on the treetops. alas, all those missed photo ops! darn.)

Famished, we took the bus and the train ride over to Bugis for a food trip. I was already nursing cough and colds ever since I arrived in SG; the morning adventure cost me more energy so I dozed off for a while in the train. And surprise, surprise, kahit sa SG, I can't help being Ish. Yep, when I woke up and we got off at Bugis, I left my wallet on the train. Tsa-ran! We immediately went to the control booth and reported the lost wallet (which contained all my money, IDs, ATM cards, MRT cards... sigh). The troop tried to cheer me up and we went off for some (awesome!) chow at this Thai & Chinese resto. Around an hour later, my sister called us up, saying that someone called her and said that the wallet was found and returned at the MRT! WHEEE! Singapore, what a fine city you are! I was just so psyched to have the wallet back, that I didn't mind when Mike, Rhea, et.al. were taking pictures to document my reunion with my wallet-slash-bag. Whee!

The day must have really taken a toll, because I couldn't bring myself to go out again, even for some clubbing that night. At home, all it took was one plop on the bed and I was a goner. Good night. :)

Day 2: Kaladkarin (aka the F1-Poser) Invades Singapore

Among other things, KE was dead set on scoring some Charles & Keith shoes, so after a quick breakfast, Ate Ting, KE and I whisked ourselves off to Orchard Road. Not too many stores later, I confirmed that I really was a compulsive shopper, as I bought myself a new blouse even before KE got to pick out shoes. =P We've raided Taka Mall, Isetan and Suntec Mall, before KE had her heart set upon the perfect black C&K heels.

Food-tripping is really a treat in Singapore, as you can always find affordable food in their uber-organized food courts. Everything's already labeled and grouped together -- Dim Sum, Vegetarian Food, Indian Food, Thai Food, Noodles -- all you have to do is choose! Their desserts were to-die-for as well; KE bought this rich white chocolate brownie, which melted in your mouth, and cakes, pastries and chocolates (Royce! eep!) offered free tastes. It's enough to drive any sweet tooth crazy from the limitless choices, I tell you.

The afternoon was set for the F1 Practice Race. Again, as I've mentioned, I know nada about F1; KE even printed out handouts for me with the driver's pictures and everything. :) But the fever tends to be contagious once you find yourself in the midst of all the hard-core F1 groupies. Left and right, the F1 caps/shirts/bags were ubiquitous; seeing people donned in all-Ferrari red from head to foot was not unusual. Groups of fans waved gigantic flags to cheer on their racing heroes. The air was electric from the excitement and anxiety of the first ever night race for F1; this poser considers herself lucky to be part of F1 history. Germans, Japanese, Singaporeans, Aussies, Indians, Brazilians, Filipinoes --- it's a regular UN meeting (or work-conf-call) in here! Vic was right --- seeing it in TV was really different from experiencing it first hand -- hearing the roar of the motors and squeals from the tires, feeling the ground shake under your feet, anticipating the slam of the car as it goes from breakneck speed to a sharp turn.... these things you can't get from the tube. I got baptized into the world of formula-racing, and I have KE to thank for something I can tell I'll be definitely hooked into for the coming years. =)

5 Things I Wish I Can Do

* Sleep right.
* Eat real food, not food out of the box nor food from over the fastfood counter.
* Not eat at my desk.
* Clean my room.
* Be punctual. Always.

What's the deal with me and phones?

I guess some things are just not meant to be. Yep, you guessed it right. In less than a month, I lost yet another cellphone. This September '08 loss was brought to you by SMB Oktoberfest --- mahaba-haba nga yung inuman pagkatapos.

To be honest, I lost count of how many phones I've said goodbye to (or rather, how many phones never bothered to tell me goodbye... sniff.). Must be around 10? (Bugsy, how many times did you receive 'Hi-I-lost-my-phone' messages?) I can only remember the highlights. Like my first phone --- it was a Nokia 5110, lost in MegaMall's Surplus Shop. I left it in the dressing room, and it was gone when I came back for it. I was crying so hard (in public! Eeeep!). I almost told Tidoy I couldn't go to her debut because I was too sad. Emo much? Haha!

I've been trying to rack my brain, but I can't remember what phone came after that. I do remember that I had a Nokia 3330, 8250 (I loved this one!), 7250i, 3310, Motorola Slvr L7, Razr... sheesh. I had to look for a visual poster on the evolution of Nokia phone models to remind me. Can't remember if I ever owned an Ericsson. I do know I had a Samsung something -- I was the only one who knew how to send messages with it. Haha.

After going through so many losses, you'd think I'd be more wary. At least I've stuck to keeping my phones on a cord, as my sister always reminds me to get one after each 'na-Ish-nanaman-ako' moment. It's happened so many times that no one really in my family really gets shocked anymore when I tell them I lost another one. It's more like, 'O, talaga? Text mo, baka isoli. Hanap ka ng lumang di ginagamit. O eto uli number ko.'

Most of the time, I've accepted that it's just this thing with me. Like how some people forget their keys. The most recent loss was the only one that really got me fuming mad. It was the first time that a phone was deliberately ripped off from my pocket. Hinayupak na Jumping Jolog yun; mabangga ka sana ng trak, mabalia't mabugbog at manatiling buhay. I guess most of the time, it's not really that I'm too careless; it's just that I'm too naive that I really do believe that nobody really wishes to do you harm, or nobody really conceives of doing something mean to anyone else. Hay. Right now, I hate the fact that I get paranoid whenever I see groups of Jumping Jologs (or JJs for short). Yesterday, I didn't know if it was just paranoia or if Sta. Lucia should officially be declared JJ-hotel. I've lost that good-old trust in people. Dammit.

Oh well, so friends, you know the drill. I'll probably be getting around to getting my old number reactivated this afternoon, so send me your names & numbers tomorrow to replenish the phonebook. Thanks guys, and hopefully I can hold on to my new phone for at least the end of the year. :)

Detached and grateful

Someone once told me that if things don't go according to plan, then your plan was wrong. From the depths of my heart, once again, thank you, Lord, for showing me that I was wrong.

I don't know what I did right to deserve a second chance, but thank you, Lord, for giving me the wake-up calls of wake-up calls.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me the difference of passion and obligation.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me that instead of trying to outmatch the pace of other clueless zombies like me, I only actually had myself to compete with.

Thank you, Lord, for making me realize that accomplishing greats feats in all other things pale in comparison to the satisfaction I get whenever I finally get over a baby step for something I sincerely love to do. It's the difference between contentment and pure, utter bliss.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me which things were actually worth losing sleep over. I still have a bit of trouble detaching from my old 'programmed' ways, but I'm getting there and frankly, I'm surprising myself every step of the way.

For all these, thank you, Lord -- thank you, thank you, thank you for saving my life.

The Eheads Reunion: An Ultraelectromagnetic Experience

(For the record, I've got a lot of unposted entries swimming in my head, but this one DEFINITELY deserves to be jotted down, remembered, and immortalized.)

It was a reunion concert, that was for sure, but not just for the Eraserheads. It was for all the 90s kiddos out there, for all the fans and vanguards loyal to OPM, and for all the friends who found a compelling reason to meet up again after a long lull.

Thanks to the fabulously-early Ethel, who was already there as early as 2 pm, we got a great spot at the front of the Patron area, conveniently near the McDo stall of the VIP area. By 8, we were complete and as giddy as eager groupies (maybe even more). Dana pointed out that this was our first time to see the EHeads perform live. Excitement as well as anxiety took over, as I was wondering what the catch would be for this much-anticipated event. Would they only be singing 3 songs? Where the heck were the instruments? Would we be only getting live video feed? I swear, if that happens, I'll find a way to the SVIP section, just to give the organizer a good whack in the head.

Eight-thirty rolled along, and the 10-minute countdown began. Fellow EHeads groupies chanted down every last 10 seconds of each minute, and were cheering like hell for the last one minute. The 'SA WAKAS!' line that flashed on the screen practically summed it all up. Our eyes were glued to the montage of the group's pics on the screen, as we were all wondering what would come next. Then, the familiar intro rifts hit the air, and everybody immediately knew it was Alapaap. Suddenly, something was rising out of the platform -- the stage, instruments, killer sound system, and oh yeah, the EHeads appeared! I don't think there was anyone who wasn't shouting and jumping up and down at that moment. I swear, it was like it was U2 who came out of that stage. I myself was shrieking incessantly, and I could feel tears streaking down my face. It was really happening! Fireworks shooted from the top, the side and the bottom of the stage, sending an already-fired-up audience to a frenzy.

And it was like that for the next 12(?13?14) songs -- everybody jumping up and down, everyone singing at the top of their lungs (never mind hitting the right tone), everyone just so glad to see that yes, miracles do happen. Even Buddy himself was all smiles (I swear, I was such a groupie --- up to the 3rd song, I was shrieking, 'Si Buddy!' everytime the camera focused on him). I love them for singing With a Smile, Shake Yer Head and Toyang. I love them for making me miss lyrics that are at par with Ligaya, Kailan and Huwag Mo Nang Itanong. I love that they featured snapshots of UP while singing Sembreak. God, I love them so much that I even found myself singing to Fruitcake. Ethel was right in saying that there was so much love in there that evening, that friends were reunited and were just there to sincerely enjoy good music and all it stood for. The crowd never really needed any encouragement. It was like playing the National Anthem --- everyone stood at attention and knew what to do by instinct (i.e. wave their hands, hoot loudly, sing 'Do-doo-doo-dooooo!' perfectly during With a Smile).

Of course, as everyone probably knows by now, the event was cut short, as Buddy, Marcus & Raymund, together with Ely's sister, announced that Ely had to be rushed to the hospital and that they themselves were at a state of shock. Despite the obvious disappointment at going from such a great kickoff to a sudden halt, I don't think I heard a jeer or a boo. Heck, Ely belted out a 15-song set, people; one would think that he just gave as much as his strength would permit, before plopping down and calling it quits. The crowd took the news in, understood, and gave the band the heartfelt applause that was due them. A minute of silence was given for prayers, before the crowd parted. Although, I think everyone still kept their tickets, just in case, and prayed for an equally-surreal Part Two. Heck, I would still pay for tickets if there was a Part Two. Frankly, I actually think we still owe them. More than sulit, I tell you. We went on for hours later on, for the most part wondering what songs they were actually planning to do next (Magasin? Para sa Masa? Pare Ko?).

The best part of it all was I got to spend this never-to-forget moment with my high school buddies, Team Bugsy (oo, high school kami nun kaya may pangalan). These were the songs we grew up with, the songs that would trigger memories at once for everyone (i.e. kanta ni Mace, Huwag Kang Matakot's special message, etc.), the songs that were somehow made a part of us and who we were. Just think, how many groups out there were also going through the same thing? Love, miracles and magic went on this August 30th, I tell you. Here's to long friendships, invincible bands, and the power of timeless music.

[nerdox post] Xobni: Friendster for your Outlook

My Outlook's on steroids. Seriously.

If you're like any other IT yuppie, then my guess is that the bulk of your time is spent writing emails, responding to emails, classifying your emails and yet later, still checking your email client if there's anything you missed. If your work revolves around your Outlook, then this freeware will do you wonders. Or entertain you, at least.

What's exactly so wonderful about Xobni, you ask? It's not that it indexes your inbox and enables email searching at Google-pace. It's not being able to draw stats about your email and email buddies, such as who are your top 10 correspondents, the top 10 people who respond to you the fastest, even your peak email hour/day/week/month [according to Xobni, 11 pm Tuesdays = hell for me]. It's not the profile sidebar that enables you to see each contact, along with your common friends, his email time-habits, your threads and all the attached files in your emails. It's actually the fact that no matter how shamelessly nerdy you get, it just hooks you in, making you visualize your stats over and over, and you just can't wait to tell all your email-slaved friends about it.

One downside though -- it's only for Outlook. Well, never were friends with Notes anyway.

If this post wasn't still as nerdy as hell for you, go check it out or view Xobni's demo vid below:

hep. take a breather.

i find that life comes in phases. one time, you'll find life so uneventful and boring that you begin to nitpick and question everything. next, you'll find that life hurls everything but the kitchen sink at you that you just want to zone out. bored. nitpick. battered. zone out. chill. think of what's next.

i'm somewhere in that zoning out part right now. recently, to say that things have been chaotic is to put it nicely. i've never thought of myself as that resistant to change, but when it haunts you at home, at work, when you're with your friends, it can be a tad overwhelming. gawd, for crying out loud, i've got this 3 gigantic zits in my face (oo, mayabang na, but when i get zits, that's a very bad sign.) i've already got them named -- BEA, youtube and mike (oo mike, i'm holding you responsible for this. you owe me pond's. =p) but i say, boo-hoo, have a cry over it, be a bratinella if you need to, but then move on. zone out and chill. speak in abbreviated sentences.

as with any muni-muni moment, i usually take a trip down nostalgia lane to calm myself down. i got reoriented with friendster and multiply, and retroed while reading all my past posts and testimonials. it was kind of funny, actually, when i got to reading the oldest testimonials -- these were posts by my high school friends. if you were only getting to know me for the first time, you'll get the impression that i was this patient, uber-nice and perky person who would never complain about anything. i could already hear my officemates' eyebrows hitting the roof. "Si Ish?! Patient?? On what alternate universe?!"

i know i've changed my stance in a lot of ways, but it never really sinked in this much. i guess in challenging times, you get to know who you are, who you want to be, or at least who you were all along. for the record, i've never really believed that soul-searching for who you are would solve anything -- what mattered was that you're happy with whoever you are at a given time.

so that brings us to the question -- am i happy with who i am now? the reborn brat who needs to put on the brakes and grow up? (fyi, i'm still debating with myself if that's a need.) i found that i may be weaker and more vulnerable now than the disciplined thinker i was then. but there's something with being a feeler that's just draws you in; i guess any brand-new feeling is impossible to resist. well, one thing's for sure -- i'm happy that FINALLY i'm able to detach myself from my work (o SWAT, paki-baba uli ng kilay.) now i understand that work is just work. i finally got it through my thick head that work does not define me. big feat, trust me.

so there goes zone out; this is probably the chill phase. so, what's next?