the closest i'll probably get to being in a movie poster

new bunch of politically-correct terms

Abortion - Near-Life Experience
Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist
Alive - metabolically abled
Bad Cook - microwave-compatible
Bad hair day - rebellious follicle syndrome
Blind - photonically non-receptive
Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled
Cannibalism - Intra-Species Dining
Clumsy - uniquely coordinated
Corpse - Permanently Static Post-Human Mass
Crackpot - certified astrological consultant / past-life regression hypnotist
Crime Rate - street activity index
Deaf - Visually Oriented
Dish Washer - utensil sanitizer
Drunk - verbally dyslexic
Fail - achieve a deficiency
Fat - person of substance
Full of Crap - fecally plenary
Gang - Youth Group
Homeless - residentially flexible
Ignorant - factually unencumbered
Incompetent - Uniquely Proficient
Insult - Emotional Rape
Jerk - suffers from rectal-cranial inversion
Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability
Stoned - Chemically inconvenienced
Undress someone with your eyes - Introspective pornographic moment
Unemployed - Involuntarily leisured
Worst - least best

buzzed

It's odd that I find noise in my life comforting. Maybe it just confirms what I've known all along -- that I'm an escapist by nature. Filling my head with things to do, then pointlessly mulling over getting them done ironically aids to keep my sanity. Because there are worse things out there than noise. It's called TRUTH. And it bites.

I hate free time.

Free time breeds discontent and paranoia.

Much as I love to loaf around, it's too risky to give an opening for moping and sulking. Argh, I'm doing it again.

bangag. don't ask.

Where does one get wisdom?

Never really been a fan of self-help books. I'm more interested to learn from real people's encounters, but all these are reactive. Are we doomed to get messed up first, then learn later?

We all wish that it would be that easy -- that answers fall into your lap, that the signs you ask for would be as obvious as MMDA's 'Walang Tawiran, Nakamamatay', that every life-altering choice you would have to make could be decided by using some neat, nifty algorithm.

But then again, if it were that easy, then the point would be lost. I guess this is why of all species, we were given minds that can handle complex thought, so that we can cope with inherently being complex beings. Frankly, I wish God gave me a stronger heart instead, so that I can go out there and make the moves that matter, instead of just cowering and surrendering to the hammock of complacency we've hung for ourselves.

Why is it so hard to sit still? Why do we always have to question the state of our lives? And why is it that it is almost always certain that the answer will be unsatisfactory?

Sana monk na lang ako sa Tibet. Paging inner peace. Is it only I that think that I seriously need a shrink? Haha.

Don't get me wrong. I am certain that I lead one of the more interesting lives. It's one of the millions of more interesting lives out there. The fact is both uplifting and disconcerting at the same times, not to mention enlightening in so many ways.

I'm a single.

I don't know if it's just from the piles of forms I had to fill out ever since I joined the rat race. After ticking that S in the Marital Status checkbox, I just got hit with it. After 22 years, I'm a Single. This, in a world made for couples (i.e. duo, combos, dinner and movie for 2, marriage). Even my mom can't wait to raffle me off. Dang, I'm a Single (sorry, just can't seem to say it enough).

What's stranger is that I'm not entirely sure if I'm bothered by it or not. As always, kebs.